Friends and family also don't really follow my writing lol so I really resonate with the way you put this as well. Also, I'D LOVE TO GO ON A WRITERS RETREAT UTOPIAN WORLD-BUILDING are you kidding me?? Excited to hear updates about this if/when it happens :D
I like the metaphor of the museum. I think there were a couple things to expand on there:
For one, a museum has back rooms for staff and service that are not accessible to visitors, and that should be the same for a person's own inner life. Like maybe you have family or partners you're willing to show a little of the backrooms to but even then it's not for them to live or linger there.
Inner sanctum is important, as is privacy.
And for another, you mentioned frustration with friends or family not following your writing, but really one of the best things an artist can do is divide their career from their relationships, at least in terms of the attention sought. In that sense I'd expand the metaphor to say that the botanical gardens attached to the museum is the space for friends and family. They're where you get fresh air and some sunshine and the inner rooms of the museum may be glimpsed through the windows but aren't necessarily visible. These spaces are important too.
"If a dream is everything in my subconscious rearranged in a different order then writing a novel is my subconscious rearranging my entire life into a book."
worth the price of admission oh thats right ok im not paying anything....but attention. LOL
There ARE deep connections to be had when common interests intersect and no surprise this post so well received....more surprised how i found it...hmmmmmmm...or maybe not Substack never fails to surprise many of us i assume. Can be a hoarder's nightmare tho as well....Bermuda Triangle if undisciplined aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Oh man, I wish I could've met the Substack folks - it must've been a fun night.
You're right about how hard it is to find people who are "your people", and that's what makes Notes special, I think. I did find folks who speak my language, have the same concerns and passions. And when we meet in real life, honestly I think it'll be like we have always been friends forever. I've been on the Internet since 1999 and have made many friends online this way and many of them are still my friends till this day.
Speaking of c-dramas and k-dramas - being able to find folks on Notes who enjoy their unique storytelling attributes has been a joy. Most people I know don't see it from that angle. Usually it's from the (omg that boy band guy is there, squeee). But for me, cdramas and kdramas open up a whole new understanding of story.
I live in Bali. We have the amazing Voices Unleashed community here, so if you come to the island I'll be happy to introduce you around.
VU does 2/3 meet-ups a month. 50-60 participants each time. Majority poets, some musicians. But I've hosted a 'writer's corner' with some real committed authors with manuscripts in all kinds of phases of development. People who've seen some things, too!
We also have the huge digital nomad community here. Many authors have passed through over the years (Liz Gilbert?!), though artistically I always thought we were a little behind, and as soon as someone creates something of note, they head back home for stable community, mentorship, recognition. BUT... I sense that might change at any moment. The crowd here continues to boom. People don't want to go home to fragmented culture.
Since the Paris's of the world are unaffordable for today's bootstrapping artist, if there's to be a Lost Generation of the 2020s, there's a good chance it'll be somewhere like here. Seems like there are some attempts at eco-utopias on the island, too!
Feel free to get in touch if you do make it out this way.
Elle, this is like the mother of all posts. I can't decide which part to comment on...the rooms of your museum metaphor (brilliant) or having the vulnerability to express wanting to find your friends here.
Let me just say that this post has nudged me to open more of your future ones. And I will be re-reading! Thank you, and if you find yourself near Pittsburgh...
Ah the joy of reading writing online is every now and then you come across a piece that puts into words exactly how you feel but haven’t managed to articulate yourself. I’ve long thought about how I haven’t met ‘my people’ in regard to my more literary interests. I have great friends but honestly I could never talk to almost any of them about the delights of reading Lord Byron or the intricacies of art history or my wistful longing to travel along the silk roads of Central Asia.
My hope is that my budding substack subscriber base will grow and become its own little Salon, like the one you’ve created here. In the meantime I’m all in on this one. If you come to Europe at some point I’d be very keen for a meet up!
There is such solidarity in having your people, a community who understands what you go through and is here to encourage you. And that's the meaning of friendship, whether it's online or offline, or a hybrid. Encouraging post, Elle!
Wow Elle, I love, love, love all you are saying here! The museum, the rooms, where/how we find community. I'm fairly new to Substack (and got here through reading your article somewhere online about serialising your utopian novel on SS). I can already see how SS is v different to other platforms. Thanks to people like you, it does feel like we are all in a room together, a bright, airy, spacious room that at the same time feels cosy and protected. Out there on FB and Twitter it's like a wild sea, a raging flood where every bit of flotsam and jetsam comes floating by. In here it's like a cool 24/7 ideas/conversation club you can pop in and out of anytime. Is it real? Well, all I can say is that since I joined SS I feel more energised, intellectually inspired and stimulated in my writing, thinking and being than I have been in ages. Community and retreats? Yes! For the past 20 years I have been leading international writer and artist retreats — Bali, Fiji, Vietnam, Cambodia, Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan, Japan, Paris, Morocco. In June we are off to a village in Italy and in Nov we'll be in India to celebrate Diwali on the Ganges. ( www.writersjourney.com.au ). It dawned on me one day that this was my way of creating community. My impulse to teach, mentor, facilitate, comes from a desire to share the creative process with others, just as you do so generously and beautifully here Elle. Thank you!
"It has made me feel like no one really knows me and maybe no one really can. But then I think, if I go down that route will I hang out with nobody at all?"
No one will ever know *you* truly, wholly, completely. Not even yourself. Every day there are small surprises as quirks in my character surface, are observed, and accepted. Every person you meet will be shown different "rooms." No two people will see the same rooms, and groups of different people will also see different "rooms." Some of those "rooms" certain members would never view in a one-on-one conversation. This is normal for our dynamic, complicated human selves.
I have people who are my "internet friends," and because I am able to maintain regular contact with them they are people who I am the closest to. They know more about my rooms than most, although even they don't see everything or anything close to what a physical interaction would show them.
Tl;dr, internet friends are "real" friends.
Context: "Rooms" being different hobbies, loves, and aspects of yourself.
"It has made me feel like no one really knows me and maybe no one really can. But then I think, if I go down that route will I hang out with nobody at all? "
I have the same fear that I'm too picky, but then I'm always longing for a deeper connection with people in real life.
I met the person I share nearly all my rooms with on the internet :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP6IMkLdk4A&t=872s&pp=ygU2bWVldGluZyBteSBsb25nIGRpc3RhbmNlIGdpcmxmcmllbmQgZm9yIHRoZSBmaXJzdCB0aW1l
Friends and family also don't really follow my writing lol so I really resonate with the way you put this as well. Also, I'D LOVE TO GO ON A WRITERS RETREAT UTOPIAN WORLD-BUILDING are you kidding me?? Excited to hear updates about this if/when it happens :D
Love the idea of a themed story retreat. What a beautiful way to create and marvel at others' creation!
I like the metaphor of the museum. I think there were a couple things to expand on there:
For one, a museum has back rooms for staff and service that are not accessible to visitors, and that should be the same for a person's own inner life. Like maybe you have family or partners you're willing to show a little of the backrooms to but even then it's not for them to live or linger there.
Inner sanctum is important, as is privacy.
And for another, you mentioned frustration with friends or family not following your writing, but really one of the best things an artist can do is divide their career from their relationships, at least in terms of the attention sought. In that sense I'd expand the metaphor to say that the botanical gardens attached to the museum is the space for friends and family. They're where you get fresh air and some sunshine and the inner rooms of the museum may be glimpsed through the windows but aren't necessarily visible. These spaces are important too.
"If a dream is everything in my subconscious rearranged in a different order then writing a novel is my subconscious rearranging my entire life into a book."
worth the price of admission oh thats right ok im not paying anything....but attention. LOL
There ARE deep connections to be had when common interests intersect and no surprise this post so well received....more surprised how i found it...hmmmmmmm...or maybe not Substack never fails to surprise many of us i assume. Can be a hoarder's nightmare tho as well....Bermuda Triangle if undisciplined aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Oh man, I wish I could've met the Substack folks - it must've been a fun night.
You're right about how hard it is to find people who are "your people", and that's what makes Notes special, I think. I did find folks who speak my language, have the same concerns and passions. And when we meet in real life, honestly I think it'll be like we have always been friends forever. I've been on the Internet since 1999 and have made many friends online this way and many of them are still my friends till this day.
Speaking of c-dramas and k-dramas - being able to find folks on Notes who enjoy their unique storytelling attributes has been a joy. Most people I know don't see it from that angle. Usually it's from the (omg that boy band guy is there, squeee). But for me, cdramas and kdramas open up a whole new understanding of story.
I live in Bali. We have the amazing Voices Unleashed community here, so if you come to the island I'll be happy to introduce you around.
VU does 2/3 meet-ups a month. 50-60 participants each time. Majority poets, some musicians. But I've hosted a 'writer's corner' with some real committed authors with manuscripts in all kinds of phases of development. People who've seen some things, too!
We also have the huge digital nomad community here. Many authors have passed through over the years (Liz Gilbert?!), though artistically I always thought we were a little behind, and as soon as someone creates something of note, they head back home for stable community, mentorship, recognition. BUT... I sense that might change at any moment. The crowd here continues to boom. People don't want to go home to fragmented culture.
Since the Paris's of the world are unaffordable for today's bootstrapping artist, if there's to be a Lost Generation of the 2020s, there's a good chance it'll be somewhere like here. Seems like there are some attempts at eco-utopias on the island, too!
Feel free to get in touch if you do make it out this way.
I love the museum metaphor, Elle. Great piece!
If your travels bring you to LA, I’d love to meet in person.
This was amazing. Immediately saved so I could reread.
Elle, this is like the mother of all posts. I can't decide which part to comment on...the rooms of your museum metaphor (brilliant) or having the vulnerability to express wanting to find your friends here.
Let me just say that this post has nudged me to open more of your future ones. And I will be re-reading! Thank you, and if you find yourself near Pittsburgh...
Tangerang, Indonesia here! Let me know if you ever visit Indonesia. I’d love to have a retreat with you!
Ah the joy of reading writing online is every now and then you come across a piece that puts into words exactly how you feel but haven’t managed to articulate yourself. I’ve long thought about how I haven’t met ‘my people’ in regard to my more literary interests. I have great friends but honestly I could never talk to almost any of them about the delights of reading Lord Byron or the intricacies of art history or my wistful longing to travel along the silk roads of Central Asia.
My hope is that my budding substack subscriber base will grow and become its own little Salon, like the one you’ve created here. In the meantime I’m all in on this one. If you come to Europe at some point I’d be very keen for a meet up!
This resonated a TON, Elle
Definitely count me in when you come to Napa. There are a few of us North Bay Substackers. We should all meet up!
There is such solidarity in having your people, a community who understands what you go through and is here to encourage you. And that's the meaning of friendship, whether it's online or offline, or a hybrid. Encouraging post, Elle!
Wow Elle, I love, love, love all you are saying here! The museum, the rooms, where/how we find community. I'm fairly new to Substack (and got here through reading your article somewhere online about serialising your utopian novel on SS). I can already see how SS is v different to other platforms. Thanks to people like you, it does feel like we are all in a room together, a bright, airy, spacious room that at the same time feels cosy and protected. Out there on FB and Twitter it's like a wild sea, a raging flood where every bit of flotsam and jetsam comes floating by. In here it's like a cool 24/7 ideas/conversation club you can pop in and out of anytime. Is it real? Well, all I can say is that since I joined SS I feel more energised, intellectually inspired and stimulated in my writing, thinking and being than I have been in ages. Community and retreats? Yes! For the past 20 years I have been leading international writer and artist retreats — Bali, Fiji, Vietnam, Cambodia, Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan, Japan, Paris, Morocco. In June we are off to a village in Italy and in Nov we'll be in India to celebrate Diwali on the Ganges. ( www.writersjourney.com.au ). It dawned on me one day that this was my way of creating community. My impulse to teach, mentor, facilitate, comes from a desire to share the creative process with others, just as you do so generously and beautifully here Elle. Thank you!
"It has made me feel like no one really knows me and maybe no one really can. But then I think, if I go down that route will I hang out with nobody at all?"
No one will ever know *you* truly, wholly, completely. Not even yourself. Every day there are small surprises as quirks in my character surface, are observed, and accepted. Every person you meet will be shown different "rooms." No two people will see the same rooms, and groups of different people will also see different "rooms." Some of those "rooms" certain members would never view in a one-on-one conversation. This is normal for our dynamic, complicated human selves.
I have people who are my "internet friends," and because I am able to maintain regular contact with them they are people who I am the closest to. They know more about my rooms than most, although even they don't see everything or anything close to what a physical interaction would show them.
Tl;dr, internet friends are "real" friends.
Context: "Rooms" being different hobbies, loves, and aspects of yourself.
"It has made me feel like no one really knows me and maybe no one really can. But then I think, if I go down that route will I hang out with nobody at all? "
I have the same fear that I'm too picky, but then I'm always longing for a deeper connection with people in real life.
I'm glad you're finding more of that now!