A beautiful sharing...thank you. Keep up the work- so hopwfully your neural pathways can continue to be re-routed. Perhaps there probably is no ending- but more of the calm and less of the flight.
A very brave article. You are generally so upbeat. Surprised to hear this trauma happened to you. We never get over stuff like this - because it resets us to think that danger can happen at any time. You survived, so this is the positive side of the situation.
I've also had some trauma - not as bad as yours, but subsequently it possibly saved me from serious injury when I became paranoid in NYC street situations and was able to leave the possible threat.
40 years in NYC in various places late at night as a jazz musician - never been mugged. I do admit to some premptory voluntary small donations upon occasion, however....
I'm so sorry you've had to struggle with regular street disorder because of your craft!!! But I'm glad you've figured out strategies that work in the face of it. It's not fun to always have to be on your guard, but helpful nonetheless! And the world needs more jazz musicians in my opinon so I'm glad you do it. 🥰
You’ve got incredible resolve and a great poker face. I never would have guessed you were carrying all of this with you when we met. I hope there comes a time when you find yourself in a space where your nervous system can relax for a long while. You deserve it.
No poker face necessary. I’m definitely not carrying this with me on a daily basis and my nervous system has had plenty of time to relax. Most of the time I am happy and well! That doesn’t mean there aren’t still brief moments that require a quick tune up!
Oof I know the feeling of “unwanted and unnecessary” anxiety for very different reasons. Hypnotherapy has helped me a lot. Have you tried it? It focuses on the subconscious and unlike other therapies a few sessions can make a huge and lasting difference. A hypnotherapist or therapist that practices MER “Mental and Emotional Release” could be worth trying. I still have some of the feelings but they don’t hijack my system in the same way and intensity so I’m able to keep doing whatever I’ve planned to do. Wishing you that best and thanks for sharing.
No I haven’t! I know everyone has different long term strategies, but yoga has been my personal favorite. Like you, the vast majority of those earthquakes have been tamed. It’s just the occasional tremor that requires due diligence! Glad you’ve found a strategy for that as well!
Take a look if interested..MER is an evolution of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) and really gets into the subconscious roots so it’s quite different than a conscious practices that maintain health. I was amazed by the results particularly because as a thinking person i find it hard to comprehend the power of the subconscious and how simply it can be affected with the right messaging.
First of all, thanks for sharing your life experience. It must, and still is, causing you trauma. I pray it was cathartic to write it all down, and you feel just a little bit freer by sharing your ongoing challenge with us.
Thanks for sharing this, Elle. What you make so clear is that Individual acts of terrorism are evil and incredibly harmful whether they result in physical injury or not.
Thanks David, I remember having a similar thought in my 20s. Whenever I would watch a thriller, and the people managed to survive the life threatening ordeal in the end, I used to think, “But now comes the hard part. This isn’t actually a happy ending!”
A beautiful sharing...thank you. Keep up the work- so hopwfully your neural pathways can continue to be re-routed. Perhaps there probably is no ending- but more of the calm and less of the flight.
Thanks Wendy!
Hi Elle,
A very brave article. You are generally so upbeat. Surprised to hear this trauma happened to you. We never get over stuff like this - because it resets us to think that danger can happen at any time. You survived, so this is the positive side of the situation.
I've also had some trauma - not as bad as yours, but subsequently it possibly saved me from serious injury when I became paranoid in NYC street situations and was able to leave the possible threat.
40 years in NYC in various places late at night as a jazz musician - never been mugged. I do admit to some premptory voluntary small donations upon occasion, however....
I'm so sorry you've had to struggle with regular street disorder because of your craft!!! But I'm glad you've figured out strategies that work in the face of it. It's not fun to always have to be on your guard, but helpful nonetheless! And the world needs more jazz musicians in my opinon so I'm glad you do it. 🥰
You’ve got incredible resolve and a great poker face. I never would have guessed you were carrying all of this with you when we met. I hope there comes a time when you find yourself in a space where your nervous system can relax for a long while. You deserve it.
No poker face necessary. I’m definitely not carrying this with me on a daily basis and my nervous system has had plenty of time to relax. Most of the time I am happy and well! That doesn’t mean there aren’t still brief moments that require a quick tune up!
Oof I know the feeling of “unwanted and unnecessary” anxiety for very different reasons. Hypnotherapy has helped me a lot. Have you tried it? It focuses on the subconscious and unlike other therapies a few sessions can make a huge and lasting difference. A hypnotherapist or therapist that practices MER “Mental and Emotional Release” could be worth trying. I still have some of the feelings but they don’t hijack my system in the same way and intensity so I’m able to keep doing whatever I’ve planned to do. Wishing you that best and thanks for sharing.
No I haven’t! I know everyone has different long term strategies, but yoga has been my personal favorite. Like you, the vast majority of those earthquakes have been tamed. It’s just the occasional tremor that requires due diligence! Glad you’ve found a strategy for that as well!
Take a look if interested..MER is an evolution of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) and really gets into the subconscious roots so it’s quite different than a conscious practices that maintain health. I was amazed by the results particularly because as a thinking person i find it hard to comprehend the power of the subconscious and how simply it can be affected with the right messaging.
First of all, thanks for sharing your life experience. It must, and still is, causing you trauma. I pray it was cathartic to write it all down, and you feel just a little bit freer by sharing your ongoing challenge with us.
It's frustrating more than anything else, but I appreciate your kind words Tom!
Thanks for sharing this, Elle. What you make so clear is that Individual acts of terrorism are evil and incredibly harmful whether they result in physical injury or not.
Thanks David, I remember having a similar thought in my 20s. Whenever I would watch a thriller, and the people managed to survive the life threatening ordeal in the end, I used to think, “But now comes the hard part. This isn’t actually a happy ending!”